Thursday, February 01, 2007

Consensus: "Crucify Him! Give us Barrabas!"

Note: I forgot about this post; it was stuck in drafts. The Iraq Surrender Group report has vanished like D.B Cooper, but theDhimocrats in the Senate are waving the flag of surrender in Iraq. Some Republicans seem to be jumping into the rafts too. Bastards, cowardly bastards.

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I was wrong. The Iraq Surrender Group did not spring spontaneously from mud, trailing clouds of slime and glory behind it. The jagged bolt of inspiration struck one Rep. Frank R. Wolf, West Virginia, not on the road to Damascus, but in a hospital in Tikrit. He saw that guns, ( guns, GUNS!) were guarding operating rooms from terrorists. Wolf said. 'I saw we can't be successful if we're going into an operating room with pistols and weapons." Minnesota has a concealed-carry law. To supplicate the gun fearing wussies, businesses can disarm permits holders by posting signs on their doors, "Such and such business bans guns on its premises". Permit holders then leave their sub-machine guns in the car. It could work in Tikrit. "This hospital bans terrorsts killers disguised as women!". All that's necessary is for the terrorists to agree to agree.

St. Paul was blinded for three days. Demi-saintRep. Wolf "began to think about the need for 'fresh eyes' to scrutinize U.S. policy regarding Iraq. Quietly, he went to the White House and presented his plan: a bipartisan commission of well-respected policymakers to bore deeply into the Iraq dilemma and recommend solutions." Exactly what St. Paul did.

"With the wisdom of human eloquence" Demi-saintRep. Wolf said, "If you ordered an Erector Set and you were trying to build it before Christmas and you got stuck and someone else came along, they might just see immediately what needs to be done," Wolf said. "Or if you had a health-care problem, you'd want a second opinion. It's all about fresh eyes on a target."

The first person I asked while struggling to fit knife hinges onto inset, frame and panel doors was James Baker. When I needed a second opinion about whether to have that prostrate surgery, I immediately phoned Lee Hamilton. It's all about eyeballs on bullseyes and legs on snakes; competence is irrelevant. Jim said to use cattle gate hinges, and Lee suggested I try soaking in Palmolive dishwashing liquid.

Wolf focused in blindly:

"Initially, the White House was cool to the idea, Wolf said. But he was able to win over Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld followed, as did national security adviser Stephen J. Hadley. 'Rice's support was key,' Wolf said. 'But I had to have the support of everybody or there would be no way to do this'."

The wisdom of the wise, "I had to have the support of everybody..." Translated from the Greek: " Everyone had to agree that they would all agree to agree to give agreeing a good look over. We all had to agree ahead of time that whatever we agreed ahead of time to agree upon, we would also all agree beforehand to put aside all disagreements, for the sake of agreement. " A stumbling block to the "You had to get a group not connected to the administration, people who were not going to be campaigning and who could come to a consensus," he said. "We wanted a bipartisan group, people senior enough that they weren't looking to get placed in a law firm or good job. The test was: Do you love your country?"

He needed "fresh eyes" that already knew how to find what they were going to find.

"Wolf got Congress to appropriate $1 million for the project. To select the panel's members, he turned to the U.S. Institute for Peace, an independent nonpartisan organization created and funded by Congress. One of its goals is to promote stability after a conflict."

NPR is an independent organization created and funded by Congress. One of its goals is to promote stability after a conflict. The United States Marines are an independent organization created and funded by Congress. One of its goals is to create stability by dominating in conflicts. They would not be invited to agree, being, as they are, "connected with the administration". After all, "we had to come to a consensus".

What consensus did Demi-saint Wolf need?

"Wolf said he hopes that the group's recommendations, expected to be delivered to President Bush and Congress next month, will reconnect a nation splintered by war.
"When our country is together, we're strong -- Truman and Roosevelt showed that," he said. "When we're divided, I think the country's going to be in trouble. I hope something good comes from this, that we can develop consensus."

Can't we all just agree to get along now, and lose this thing... together?

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