Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Testing the Candle Hypothesis.

"We're lighting candles to stop gun violence!"

"How will you test whether it works or not?"

"We don't have to test it."

"How do you know it works?"

"It works because we believe it works, that's obvious to everyone here." 

"It's not obvious to me.  Have you tried it in real life situations?  Say, an armed hold-up at a convenience store?"

"You're only saying that because you don't love the murdered victimsas much as we love the murdered victims because you're a gun rights extremist who thinks the answer to gun violence is more gun violence and...."

"Really, how do you know that?"

"Because we're lighting candles to stop gun violence."

When Doonesbury was still funny, one ice age ago, he penned a long strip centered on "Roland Burton Hedly Jr., tough, cynical reporter just back from Vietnam".  When his long story on "The New Hedonism" turned out all bravo sierra fed him by Zonker Harris, Hedly was asked if he checked out and confirmed his story.  "I don't have to", he said.  "They assured me it was true."  "What" his superiors asked, "What did you cover in Vietnam?"
Hedly, "Sports!"

One wonders whether anyone cowering beneath a desk or behind a door wished they only had a few lighted candles.

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