Friday, June 15, 2007

Harry Reid's Medals

Harry Reid's awards:
The Sticky Tongue Out Regarde, with Rough Cat Textures
The Blazing Eyeball Glance, with Enfant Terrible clumps
The Impacted Ear Wax Attentive Blodge, with Crossed Q-Tips
Three Pink Pig's Ears, two with Meritorius Bristles
The Blind Elephant Bluster Medal, with Trumpet and Honky
The Las Vegas Campaign Medal, with pasties
The Nevada Desert Land Campaign Medal, with attached strings
The Show Girl Campaign Medal, with Pelosi Braids and Pennants
The Fox Dhimmi Debacle Accolade, with Mason Jar Rings
Fourteen Blunt Bluster Ribbons, six with the coveted Greasy Gag Bolo Tie
The Smeagol Smegma Campaign Ribbon, with extra Lint
The Toe Jam Pin, with Clippings & Scissors Brocade
Three Anti-Patria Pasta Ribbons, with Sauce Stains & Cloves
The Tom Daschle Voice Over Mask, with extra Eye Holes

And finally, Harry Reid is the first recepient of the 'Jimmah' Personal Conduct Ribbon, awarded for Public Prouncements ofSurpassing Disgrace & Ineptitude, and surpassing lapses of Honor, Decency, and Squinting under the Lights.

The Citation:

"With complete aplomb and disregard for the welfare of his constituentsand the greater country he is pledged to serve, Senator Harry "Very, very Dismayed" Reidis hereby awarded the 'Jimmah' Personal Conduct Ribbon, with Caramel & Peanut Clusters for the following actions-Expressing public contempt for the outgoing Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.Declaring, with unrelenting perseverence and complete disregard of his own voting record,his own public statements from the recent and not so recent past, that Major General David Petraeusis a failure.For repeatedly using the phrase "This President...", to assign blame and assert failure for virtually any policy, he was further able to conjure up the forlorn, lost, misapplied, misappropriated,misspoken, mrspoken and mislaid, effectively shielding himself from responsibility, while directingall bucks elsewhere to stop.And finally, for his courage phrase, "This war is lost", Senator Harry "Verry, very dismayed" Reid is hereby awarded the 'Jimmah' Conduct Ribbon with Caramel & Peanut clusters.

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